3/27/23
“Make Conversation”
Sensory overload and social anxiety is something I experience on a regular basis that leaves me feeling isolated and left out. I can easily become overwhelmed which becomes more intense when in unpredictable and new situations. I don’t understand small talk and often don’t really know how I'm supposed to respond to people. I miss social cues and get confused by people speaking with passive or indirect intentions. There are many obstacles to communication, eye contact makes me feel uncomfortable, I have unintentionally stopped paying attention before while evaluating if I am making eye contact properly or enough. I often just try to mirror the person I'm interacting with, trying to navigate a simple interaction. This becomes harder for me when the environment creates a lot of sensory input. Harsh lighting, strong fragrances and the indistinguishable chatter of a crowd of people for me is extremely overwhelming. It holds true even at events that I'm looking forward to attending. I don’t want to miss out, so I go and I know I will need to periodically hide in the bathroom for a moment of relief from sensory input. I accept it will be a draining experience , so I hold on to safe people and try to find joy in small moments that I forget what's happening around me. Outward perspective may pity this experience or tell me I'm overthinking and just need to relax. Neither are true, my experience is genuine and permanent, a part of who I am and the foundation of my art practice. I’m comfortable with who I am, I learn to adapt, a survival tool I've carried since childhood. In this space I have created an exaggerated experience attempting to demonstrate my perception of social events. Entering the room feels crowded with figures all around you, but the room is empty. A non-verbal dialogue is created when interacting with sensory elements that take up cognitive space. I find the ways space is occupied very interesting physical and nonphysical, and social spaces that feel arbitrary. Unable to communicate with the figures, you are left to observe your environment. Aroma of overly strong perfume, harsh bright lighting and loud audio are pushed in an uncomfortable manner. This is intended to be overwhelming to experience, and to create a feeling of tension and unease. A sense of hostility that comes from a threshold and not a place of danger. That reflects on the nature of how I feel in an interaction, the feeling of unease and tension are not created intentionally or from malice. A veil separates the figures from being accessed, limiting what is observable. A metaphorical boundary that creates a sense of isolation in a crowded space. This work invites you to experience it but the nature of the experience does not. Take note of your comfort and reflect what is your threshold for wanting to stay in the room. How long before you need to step out for relief? Do you think you could hold a conversation while experiencing this environment?
3/22/23
3/20/23
3/6/23
After reviewing the handout This Gallery space has a height of about 11ft. With that in mind and the feeling I want to convey I don’t intend to create any type of ceiling. Since I want aspects of intimidation I will keep the figures at the same scale, I want theses to be noticeably taller then anyone walking into the room. Something Im considering and would appreciate feedback on is using some type of flashing or moving light, similar to a bar. Something to the effect of colorful projections and strobe lights. On one hand it could be perceived as too much and non cohesive , or rather speak to the experience. At its core I want it to be overwhelming and for there to be alot of sensory input. For me this all together makes sense , but I want to know how people would feel in a room like that. Progress photos soon to follow…
Project #2 concept:
In this work I want to convey the over overstimulating and isolating feeling that comes from social anxiety . Something so specific can be hard to express to a wide audience with unique experiences. For that reason the different elements to create a sensory interaction need to be dialed up for the experience to convey what it's supposed to. I want someone to walk in and first be met with the intensity of bright white light. This should give a sense of hostility to the room being too bright amplified by white wall paneling. Accompanied by a noise whisper/chatter loop, it will sound like many conversations are happening around you. It should not be able to be understood, it is supposed to create a feeling of disconnect from your surroundings. That partnered with shadows of figures behind the white paneling reinforces those feelings. Ultimately you find yourself in the center of these interactions amongst these figures that you don't know how to interpret. One may find the light and sound uncomfortable or bothersome making the viewer overwhelmed and want to leave. Although they are intended for their brain to still feel the desire to try to make sense of the chatter and figures and what they mean. It's through this intended experience that I will have successfully conveyed the emotions of social anxiety through my lens.
I intend to create some sort of drop down ceiling , I’m curious wheeather a tall ceiling that feels out of reach or if a low ceiling limiting space conveys my message better. I would love any feedback or suggestions on that.
You are limited by what we have- so that ay make the decision for you- but I would suggest lower than what is comfortable.
Artist inspirations:
What interested me about the blog by Louise Benson is their quote “Ghostly figures appeared and disappeared amidst the fog,feeling their way towards unseen edges”. The way this work is communicates emotion is relevant to my work and installation ideation. I want people to reflect on societal boundaries after experiencing my work. Antony Gormley really knows how to communicate boundaries effectively. Yes he does. Key features I want to explore are blurred figures and the sense they are out of reach thus you are disconnected from what's happening around you.
This installation has several components I want to explore. I am intrigued by the way the boxes give a sense of organization and compartmentalization. I tend to feel more connected to sounds, for me and many others it can create comfort or be uncomfortable. Something about this chatter sits in the middle; it pulls you in , and makes you think what is it trying to say. I embedded a video below showing related works.
This work has a hostility to me , it's hard to explain but I think it comes from two things: the extreme artificial fluorescent lights and all the white material reflecting back. You are not invited to come inside and it is devoid of warmth or comfort. This inspires me how I intend to alter my space in the This gallery, something neutral yet uninviting. This is ALOT of packing styrofoam. You could make a call out to the community to get this much in the time you have? It is really interesting visually.
what would all the square be- I think making them mirrored would be really interesting- although expensive- but you could also play with mixing cheaper materials like aluminum foil which is still reflective with mirrors.
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